Go out into the world with your wits and your gifts …

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I wrote this early yesterday and posted it last night, briefly, then took it down because the election returns came in and it was strange timing. I didn’t want it to seem that the election prompted this post. No, I was restless before election day, though elections tend to make me uneasy. I don’t like to see my country so divided.

But otherwise–it could be the season, moving into winter, into the cold. Winter is a time to feel cozy and warm at home as the winds and snows ravage outside.

Or, it could be because I stayed where I am now for people who are no longer in my life, in one way or another. I’m here for a man whom I loved but who was too selfish to love me, and my kids who are far away but happy in their own lives and their own places. I keep the home fires burning for them, but they seem not to need the warmth from here. I need it, I long for it, search for it. If it’s not here… then maybe I should seek it elsewhere.

This is what I wrote, yesterday morning:

I am thinking of moving, somewhere faraway, maybe even to a different country. This is a recurring thought in recent weeks, not sure why. I’m not running from anything, or to anything either. It just seems that a change of scenery might be good. It may be a good idea to go now, before I am too entrenched in my present place. Maybe I’ll do mission work or join a nunnery. I feel I need more purpose, more giving. Currently I do volunteer work for four organizations, and I like that, but nonetheless I don’t feel particularly connected. I have friends (virtually all are married) and good neighbors, but they all have their families. My family is not nearby. I’m just kind of writing my thoughts here, not sad but reflective and at the same time I am trying to look forward.

Or maybe I should stay and keep being involved, hopeful. Maybe I need more time to put down roots, really try to be a part of this place. Roots stave off loneliness, in some ways. I am all for the concept: Bloom where you are planted. I think I do that, have done that.

Stay, or go?

Has anyone out there up-and-moved out of the blue? How did it work out?

And where? Where would I go? Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?

Thank you and happiness to all,

~ Lily

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5 Comments on “Go out into the world with your wits and your gifts …”

  1. The best I can advise, Lily, is to be patient and listen carefully to your heart. A ‘change of scenery’ may seem right to do, but may also pose the same situation, i.e. loneliness…your images have vastly improved since you began this blog, why not take more and immerse yourself in the bit of diversion they’ll readily supply?

    Perhaps the volunteering is not satisfying in the way you intended (to meet ‘the one’!)…perhaps drop one or two of those and find new ones? Might take a bit of research (as I don’t know where you live), but could be well-worth the time.

    Be well…and know you have a supporter here in Chicago!

  2. free penny press says:

    Before I made the decision to move to New Orleans I wrote a list of Pros vs Cons of me staying here and Pros vs Cons of me moving. The Pros on both questions won by a majority (sort of like an election :-).. Only you know what is necessary for you to be happy. If I were retired I would join the Peace Corp for a couple of years.. That has always been a dream of mine to be of service to others and explore a new country/culture.. You will find your place…

    • lily says:

      Thank you, Lynne. I am an expert at debating with myself. I think I would find a needy area in the US for now before heading overseas, until my kids are older. But then, that is kinda what I am doing now, come to think of it : )
      When will you be in NOLA? Seems like it should be soon, unless you are there and I somehow missed that. Anyway, wishing you happiness with that transition, Lynne! There are wonderful things waiting for you.
      ~ Lily

  3. Go Slow. Pray about it and then pray some more. Don’t do anything until you have clear direction and peace in your heart. You deserve the best so don’t be in too big a hurry to make a change. Praying that you will soon discover heart peace and joy in your life.

    • lily says:

      Thank you, Joy. Yes, it makes sense to take it easy, find peace and direction. I am trying. Answers to prayers always come, but not always according to my sometimes impatient time table, that is true.
      Have a blessed and lovely weekend!

      ~ Lily


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