The moon, and then the sun…Posted: April 27, 2012
I say to the sky.
I used to
read that to my children,
Look into their eyes,
their beautiful faces, their
days so full,
mine so full,
I ache a useless ache,
send it on its way:
any parent will know this
have it any other way.
As much as I am content that I was the best parent that I could have been and that my children are successful and happy out in the world, I went to bed last night feeling a bit sad and very reflective. I miss my kiddos. But, morning comes, and it is always a new day, a new start. I worked out–stretched, cardio, isometrics. That always helps me to feel better. I should be a runner again, for the endorphins, but women in my family tend to have knee and hip issues when they are older. Walking is gentler than running on my aging joints. Plus, you know how I like to stop and smell the roses along the way!
Upon waking, I had the thought of how grateful I am to be healthy, and beyond that, to have been given a long, lean, and graceful body. I’ve never really appreciated it in my life, never felt beautiful beyond the normal beauty that we all have as precious human beings. My husband thought I was “scrawny” not beautiful. As much as our bodies are the containers for our more important hearts and souls, and our inner beauty is what truly shines, we all have beautiful aspects of our outer selves, too. Eyes, smiles. Gleaming hair or luminous skin. Our inner beauty manifests itself in these outer gifts. It comes through in the ways in which we carry ourselves–with poise or confidence, or full of good-humored laughter, for instance. Our kindness shows in our soft glances and reassuring smiles. We are a whole package of beauty, after all.
Divorce awakened me to many things. I needed music, I needed motion, I needed to take care of myself–all of myself. My little breakfasts of grains-berries-nuts-yogurt feel like clean fuel for a vehicle I care about. The books I brought yesterday from the library will feed my mind. You–my fellow writers and observers of the world– give me food for thought, and laughter and beauty every day.
The day is grey outside, but not here in my heart. It is raining today, but water cleanses and sometimes rainbows come, and always flowers and new life.
Wishing you all a wonderful day!